I’ve always been the type of person who’s been terrified of throwing up. I can’t imagine anyone being bulimic and causing themselves to heave and feel the horridness of your stomach convulsing as the food you so lovely tasted and chewed comes rushing back up. Yet, every day I involuntary spend time feeling that terrible convulsing of my stomach as I’m reminded of what I did eat, or the fact that I haven’t eaten and throw up the terrible yellow bile that collects in your stomach. Disgusting? Yes, very much so.
Yet, one of the more odd symptoms is what happens to your sense of taste. How is it that a person who truly LOVES coffee in all its beautiful forms and flavours could be positively revolted by the smell and taste of it? I’m floored, I’m dumbfounded. I see people on television cradling their beloved coffee mugs in their hands, feeling soothed by the warmth emitting from the mug as well as the beautiful scent wafting around them, knowing with just a sip the energetic comfort that the brew will give them. I see this, I envy this, but it’s only a memory that I covet. Hand me the same mug, and the only feeling I have is revulsion. It feels like insanity.
Or consider this, I’m an avid chicken eater. Sorry for those of you who’re vegetarian or vegan, but its true chicken was often a main dish in my home. Although I admit, I feel like I may identify with you better these days then any meat eater. I’ve never really loved beef, or pork, but ate it to add variety. Yet, since becoming pregnant, I’ve been completely appalled by poultry. I’ve hardly eaten any meat whatsoever, it could be summed up with simply two pieces of bacon, a small portion of beef roast, and a little of a pineapple glazed ham, within the 3.5 months that I’ve been pregnant. (Yes, I’ve been taking multivitamins, although they do hurt my stomach quite often). How is it that a person who cooked primarily with chicken, who would order chicken at a steak restaurant, would have to spit a piece of it into her napkin rather then continue chewing or heaven forbid swallow the morsel?
I now eat simply toast, potato, cereal, potato chips, and chocolate. And you think ‘what an odd combination of foods’? Yes, but it’s the only things that my stomach and taste buds will allow. I am disgusted by my diet, and daily long for the urge to eat something else, anything else. Sadly, that urge hasn’t yet arrived.
Exhaustion, Migraines, and Dizziness; all of which feel oddly related. How is it that I can be doing absolutely nothing and feel completely drained? And the moment I stand up or walk at a pace faster then a crawl I get terribly dizzy and almost black out. Everything feels obscenely loud, the television, the clock, the snowmobiles whizzing past the house, the alarm in the morning, and then light. Everything feels so grossly bright, offending my brain to the extent of an outrageous throbbing, that lasts and lasts and lasts.
Plus a multitude of randomly odd but apparently common in pregnancy things that make you feel completely unlike your former self. Many of which are seemingly inappropriate to discuss here. Want a somewhat comedic and bold easy read about what you may be about to experience once the stick turns blue or that line shows up; consider reading Jenny McCarthy’s book “belly laughs.” It will amuse you and terrify you at the same time. And that’s exactly what this experience is, terrifying to the point where it also has to be amusing in order to cope with the oddness, and prepare for the months ahead. I’ve refused to think to long on the actual ‘labour’ process, eventually I’ll have to face the reality of it, until then I’ll continue force feeding myself toast and potato, praying for a relief to my diet, or any of the odd eccentricities that are apparently often associated with pregnancy. Little did I know.