It has struck me, quite bluntly, in the past year how domesticated I am/have become. I always enjoyed creative expression, but never really saw myself as the ‘domesticated type.’ I suppose I like to fancy myself more of a liberal thinking, somewhat feminist (not radical, but pro-equality), independent, wildly-opinionated and educated kind of person. Obviously I don’t feel that those who like to think of themselves as domesticated do not have these other traits as well, because I know that both can exist in harmony, as that is the life I’m currently living.
I believe that my confusion may be more a result of the swiftness at which my independent-student identity became a co-dependent marriage relationship, where in just a mere two years I’ve studied much less, am expecting my first child (nothing screams domestication to me like being barefoot and pregnant; I dislike wearing socks), and run an online business where I sew and sell my creations. I’ve always enjoyed baking and creating a new recipe to my own taste, I appreciate a clean home, and love saving money by making things to decorate it myself. It seems as though in two short years, my life has changed completely.
I suppose my shock is more a mourning for the things that have taken a backseat to my current responsibilities, don’t worry, I have not forgotten about equality (my husband is aware of how to do laundry, dishes and clean the bathroom, activities he participates in regularly). I do miss studying, and feeling a certain air of independence. Maybe I can find independence in the process of running my shop/business. There’s a certain thrill and joy that comes from finding success in such an endeavour.
Why am I mulling over these things? My two year marriage anniversary is tomorrow, though we won’t be celebrating till after the move is complete and after the baby has arrived, and I suppose landmarks like this makes one reflect. I am very happy with my current status as a wife/mother-to-be and Martha Stewart fan; I’m simply reminding myself that there can and must be harmony between my roles, and passions. I think I’ve found it, just didn’t expect it to look as ‘domesticated’ as it does.
Only one week left till we move to another community, and two weeks until my son is due to be born.
Happy Anniversary Husband!