"TransParent”

Whoever coined the cliché; ‘Blood is thicker than Water’ in terms of relationship was wrong. Physically, in consideration of scientific principals, yes it’s a fact that blood is thicker in consistency than water is. The cliché refers to relationships, to family primarily; apparently it first appeared in 1670 as a Scottish Proverb (source), and in the context of relationship, it is wrong.

.

This may be the most transparent I’ve ever been and will ever be to complete strangers, the vast world beyond my inner sanctum of acquaintances and friends of old. It is quite possibly the most transparent I will ever be here in this blog, or with the vastness which is the random reader who may lurk or pass by unknown. I’m not sure what is propelling this; it may be the inability to sleep, induced by the large amounts of coffee I drank. Maybe it is some desire to let the world know, that I’m okay. It must be said, it must be known; that blood is not thicker than water in my heart.

.

Confused? Please let me enlighten you with some background information.

.

I am a 26 year old female, who was lovingly raised by her grandparents, who were truly and wholly parents to her. With a birth mother who gave her some of the greatest gifts she could ask for: life, as well as a life she herself could not provide (by allowing someone else to raise her daughter). I’m forever grateful for that. Here’s the hard fast cold fact by which this post surrounds itself; I’ve never met my father, nor have I had any significant contact with his immediate or extended family. (Please don’t pity me, continue reading instead).

.

As a child, this did bother me some. I knew there was more, some rejection that lurked and tried to hurt me. I suppose the world is always big and scary and with lots of sharp edges to a child. Where everything that is not loving in nature, is harsh in nature. I was more confused by my situation then tormented; it was lack of knowledge and not blood relation that worried me.

.

As a teenager, when the entire world is dramatic and bold, the situation seemed somewhat dramatic and bold. I don’t know what it was; over whelming emotion would be my best guess. I never wanted anything, never asked for anything and never wanted to seek anything from those blood relations, whoever they were. I think it was more the knowledge that they were not a part of my life that creeped in at the corners of recognition, played on my mind and hid in the shadows from time to time. I suppose the illusion of rejection is stark for a teenager, any teenager.

.

As my teenage years progressed into adult hood, even before graduating High School, I knew that the quote about blood and water was a farce, a rude lie. I had already lived a vivid and full life. I knew the true definition of family wasn’t defined by blood lines on some family tree. Family in its truest and most beautiful form wasn’t born from blood obligation, a sense of responsibility. Family was born of love, of the decision to stand by someone and stand with them. My family spans a large number of people I know that I can depend on, some have been in my ‘family’ for a season (even if they are not in my life now, I will always love them and will come running to their aid if they call), but others are there true and fast, and they’ll be there till the end of time. They are the kind eyes that listen, the hands the help, the words spoken that are true enough to stand on. Family are people you can turn to at any time.

Sure, I do think of those blood relations from time to time, like when I graduated High School or when I got married, and once in a while now that I have a son. Is there a place in my heart for them? Sure. Are those blood relations family? No. Am I bothered by that? No. I have all the family I need, and my heart feels full.

.

My point is, I’m not bitter, and never was. I’m not hurt nor do I feel rejected or broken. I’m not wounded, nor do I need to be pitied. I am happy, my life is full, and my family is perfect. If any of you, friends (old or new) have ever worried about this, please don’t. There’s no need to whisper about this in secret as if some injustice or crime has been committed against me, I am happy, I am well. I pray that whoever they are, wherever they are, that they are happy and well too. I have all I need, water may not be all that thick, but love sure is.